Those Pesky Squirrels!

“A dog with a bone in its mouth neither kills nor steals.”
-Porfirio Diaz, former president of Mexico

Of all the critters that invade our orchards and vegetable gardens and steal the fruits and vegetables that we’ve worked so hard to grow, few are more persistent and difficult to stop than squirrels. These tree rodents take bites out of our tomatoes, rob our fruit trees, and steal our corn. They also rob our bird feeders and sometimes invade our homes to take shelter in our attics. Nimble and clever, these inhabitants of the Sciuridae genus seem to be able to defy every effort to keep them out of our gardens. A tall fence will stop rabbits and deer, but a squirrel will climb over that fence or find a way to crawl under it. Capsaicin (hot pepper) solutions sprayed on plants may temporarily cause them to snort and cough, but later then return for more and ask for a mug of Dos Equis beer. Predator urine fools them for a short time, but they eventually get wise.

I can’t promise you that this is a foolproof method that will forever keep the squirrels out of your garden. No method can do that. But of everything else you’ve tried has failed to keep them away, then maybe, just maybe, bribery might be the tactic that works.

So what’s a gardener to do? If all else fails, may I suggest a new tactic? Bribery. Allow me to explain. Porfirio Diaz, a former president of Mexico was able to keep his political enemies from threatening his rule by giving them high government positions and making sure that they were well-paid. Being so enriched, they had no reason to rebel and attempt to steal away his wealth, leadership, and prestige. In the same way, a squirrel that is well-fed on grain, nuts, or other things, should have no reason to rob you of the fruits and vegetables that you’ve worked so hard to grow. Like all higher life forms, squirrels eat because they’re hungry. To assuage that hunger, they will dine on whatever food items they can access be it wild berries, acorns, your garden fruits and vegetables, or anything else. So why not give them an alternative to your garden?

I discovered this tactic quite by accident. Several years ago, in my vegetable garden, I was growing corn and sunflowers. In the past, the squirrels would steal every last bit of corn from my garden leaving me with nothing. But that particular year, they instead turned their attention to the sunflowers. They devoured every seed and left the corn alone. That year, I harvested one of my best corn crops ever. That got me to thinking that perhaps if I provided the squirrels with alternate dining, then maybe they’d leave my garden alone.

So how do you put this into practice? One way is to purchase a squirrel feeder. Place it somewhere away from your garden and keep it well-filled with squirrel corn. Never let it go empty. Hypothetically, if the squirrels are filling up on the squirrel corn with which you are providing them, they will be too full to bother with your garden. It’s kind of like paying protection money to the mafia. But if it keeps the squirrels from destroying your garden, then it may be worth it.

The Pebbles of Spring

“One of the wisest people I have known once said that the best things in life should be thought of as pebbles in a jar. The assumption should be that the pebbles are finite — even if you can’t count them by looking into the jar, you should assume that one day they will run out. You should withdraw them with care, one by one, never doing it by rote or distractedly. If you withdraw them too rapidly, you are being greedy, and will hasten the day when they are gone; if you hoard them, if you are miserly in keeping them in the jar, then you will rob yourself of the experiences the good things should give you. There’s no perfect way to do it. The closest you can come to perfection is to know just how precious those pebbles are, and to value each one.”

• Bob Greene, former Chicago Tribune columnist

In the column I quoted above, Bob Greene likened the days of summer to the aforementioned pebbles in a jar. Each day of summer is a pebble removed, never to be reclaimed again. We should remove those pebbles with care, he explained, not tossing them away rapidly without a thought or trying to hoard them.

In my humble opinion, spring can be thought of in the same way. Spring is a magical season, even more so than summer. Spring is a time of transformation, when the world changes from the cold lifelessness of winter to the rebirth of spring. New plant growth emerges from the ground, insects and animals come out of hibernation, birds return from their winter grounds, and the world hums once more with abundant life. Meanwhile we humans, put away our heavy winter clothes and coats and bring out the lighter garments. And of course, we gardeners once more begin the tasks of preparing soil and planting seed and seedling, eagerly anticipating the beautiful flowers that will blossom or the bountiful harvest of vegetables that will delight our palates and free us from the bland supermarket offerings.

And then we make plans! Lots of plans – for all the things we are going to do and accomplish during the year. Activities, vacations, gatherings with friends and family – all the wonderful things that we will be able to look back upon with fondness later in the year.

But Mr. Greene also goes on to say that too often, we let life get in our way. We allow work, family matters, household chores, financial matters to impede our enjoyment of life, and all of the magic passes by. And before we know it, the cold winds of winter are once again whipping across our landscapes, and we wonder how all our plans never came to fruition.

Mr. Greene was writing about summer. But this applies even more so to spring. The reawakening of the earth only happens during the springtime. Snowdrops, crocuses, daffodils, Jack-in-the-pulpits, Dutchman’s breeches, May apples, and many others only bloom from March through April. Want to see the mating dance of the American woodcock? That only takes place from late February through May. If you carelessly toss away those spring pebbles from your life’s jar, then you won’t be able to see any of these again for another year.

And did you get around to planting your garden? No? Well, if you haven’t done anything by August, it’s probably too late to do much of anything. You’ll have to wait another seven months, with all the cold, ice, and snow that comes with it, before you’ll get another chance.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have carelessly spill out those pebbles. It’s time to stand up for your springtime (and for that matter, your life)! Sure, we all have to put forth effort to acquire “coin of the realm” to exchange for food, shelter, transportation, and other goods and services. But we do not have to let it dominate our lives and steal our springtime.

So take some time out to walk in the woods. Visit a nature center and savor the magic of re-emerging life. Watch in awe as birds and animals tend to their young. Plant flowers and vegetables. But most of all, savor every pebble of this magical time of year.

Remember that the pebbles will all disappear no matter what you do. But savor each one and don’t let them pass you by. Your life will be much richer for it.